AIM With The Cullens!
by EllieWood
Summary: Emmett's obsessed with Disney Channel, Mike's a troubled soul, and Alice is. Well. Alice.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys

**Hey guys! Um. This is my AIM with the Cullens fic. It was written in honor of a few people, and if you're close to me you'll probably get the references… And most people are pretty OOC. Bella's still a human. 3, Katie.**

TripsOnAir Bella

YouSmellGood01 Edward

DrMcSexy Carlisle

IMarriedMcSexy Esme

PsychicPixiex3 Alice

BipolarMuch43 Jasper

YouGotPwned Emmett

PerfectxBlonde Rosalie

Forks911 Charlie

PimptasticBeast Jacob

LonelySoul69 Mike

**TripsOnAir has signed on**

**PsychicPixiex3 has signed on**

**YouSmellGood01 has signed on**

**YouGotPwned has signed on**

YouSmellGood01: Hello, everyone.

YouGotPwned: EDDY! HOWDY!

YouSmellGood01: Hi, Emmett.

YouGotPwned: hows life?

PsychicPixiex3: that's ironic.

TripsOnAir: hi, edward!

YouSmellGood01: My lovely Bella! How are you?

YouGotPwned: She tripped on a rock and broke her arm. Carlisle's with her at the hospital now.

YouSmellGood01: MY BELLA!

**YouSmellGood01 has signed off**

TripsOnAir: GOOD JOB EMMETT. now he's gonna go find carlisle. sighs i'll be back.

**TripsOnAir has signed off**

PsychicPixiex3: what was that for, em?

YouGotPwned: theres nuthing good on tv now. i got bored.

PsychicPixiex3: hannah montana's not on?

YouGotPwned: stfu theres no football.

PsychicPixiex3: no football on hannah montana? there's basketball on high school musical!

YouGotPwned: i dont watch those disney shows. i watch manly stuff.

PsychicPixiex3: like camp rock?

**PerfectxBlonde has signed on**

YouGotPwned: ROSIE. HELP.

PerfectxBlonde: Help you from...?

YouGotPwned: your sister.

PsychicPixiex3: -giggles- i'm teasing him about his disney channel addiction.

YouGotPwned: im not addicted to disney! IM NOT 12.

PerfectxBlonde: Please, Emmy, I know you were watching Hannah Montana when I walked in our room yesterday.

YouGotPwned: I WAS NOT!!1!!

PerfectxBlonde: Then why'd you turn the TV off so quickly?

YouGotPwned: I was watching. Uh. Porn?

PerfectxBlonde: Nice try. Maybe Hannah Montana porn.

PsychicPixiex3: i wouldn't be surprised if they made that.

PerfectxBlonde: Me either. And Emmett would watch it.

YouGotPwned: I WOULD NOT!

PsychicPixiex3: of course you wouldn't. rose is already blonde. like hannah.

PerfectxBlonde: I'd rather my husband not pretend I was a schizophrenic 15 year old in bed, Alice.

PsychicPixiex3: it could happen!

**MarriedMcSexy has signed on**

**DrMcSexy has signed on**

YouGotPwned: ESME. TELL ALICE I DONT WATCH HANNAH MONTANA PORN.

MarriedMcSexy: Um.

DrMcSexy: Well.

PerfectxBlonde: Alice started it!

PsychicPixiex3: WHAT?!

MarriedMcSexy: Well. Emmett. We would still love you if you did...

YouGotPwned: WTF I DONT!

DrMcSexy: He is rather obsessed with that Disney Channel. You DID wanna go to that concert with those Jonam boys.

YouGotPwned: JONAS. JONAS.

PsychicPixiex3: LMFAO! maybe he watches jonas brothers porn!

PerfectxBlonde: ALICE. Don't even joke...

YouGotPwned: IM LEAVIN!

PsychicPixie: THAT'S A JESSE MCCARTNEY SONG!

MarriedMcSexy: And Emmett, I found that Savannah Montana cardboard cutout under your bed.

YouGotPwned: -growls-

**YouGotPwned has signed off**

**BipolarMuch43 has signed on**

**YouSmellGood01 has signed on**

**TripsOnAir has signed on**

YouSmellGood01: I'M GOING TO KILL EMMETT.

TripsOnAir: -sighs-

PsychicPixiex3: JAZZY!

BipolarMuch43: hi Alice. what did I miss?

PsychicPixiex3: emmett watches hannah montana porn and has a cardboard cutout.

BipolarMuch43: okay. whatever he wants ... i guess.

YouSmellGood01: ...Cardboard cutout?

PerfectxBlonde: I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. EMMETT MCCARTEY CULLEN!!

**PerfectxBlonde has signed off**

PsychicPixiex3: THAT SOUNDS LIKE MCCARTNEY. AS IN JESSE!

TripsOnAir: he's yummy!

YouSmellGood01: I will kill this McCartney fellow.

BipolarMuch43: Alice wanted a cardboard cutout of him.

PsychicPixiex3: HECK YES I DID.

MarriedMrSexy: You found them.

DrMcSexy: -sighs- Yes, yes I did.

**MarriedMcSexy has signed off**

**DrMcSexy has signed off**

PsychicPixiex3: MY RAKE'S IN THE SHED, BUT MY HO'S STILL MISSIN.

YouSmellGood01: What rake?

PsychicPixiex3: OH HOT DAAAAAYUMM. THIS IS MY JAAAAM.

YouSmellGood01: Huh?!

PsychicPixiex3: LEMME SEE DAT ASS ROOOLLL.

BipolarMuch43: Alice, are you going Ghetto on me?

PsychicPixiex3: BITCH NIGGER STOP IT!

YouSmellGood01: I didn't find her. Carlisle did. Now Bella. It's bed time for the human.

TripsOnAir: -grumbles-

YouSmellGood01: I can promise you something you might like...

**TripsOnAir has signed off**

YouSmellGood01: Well that was easier than I originally thought.

**YouSmellGood01 has signed off**

PsychicPixiex3: HANNAH MONTANA'S ON! I MUST TELL EMMETT!

**PsychicPixiex3 has signed off**

BipolarMuch43: -sighs-

**BipolarMuch43 has signed off**

**Okay. So there you have it. Sorry if I offended anyone during Alice's Flo Rida explosion. Did you know Flo Rida together spells Florida?! I thought that was amazing!! Haha Brittany pointed it out. And every time I mention a song, I was probably listening to it. I don't know. Review, please!**


	2. Chapter 2

Okay

**Okay. So I'm back! I had some punctuational freakouts. Who knew that fanfic doesn't take equal signs?! Well, I probably should of. I logged on this afternoon and found nine reviews. I was like OME. ...yeah.**

TripsOnAir - Bella

YouSmellGood01 - Edward

DrMcSexy - Carlisle

IMarriedMcSexy - Esme

PsychicPixiex3 - Alice

BipolarMuch43 - Jasper

YouGotPwned - Emmett

PerfectxBlonde - Rosalie

Forks911 - Charlie

PimptasticBeast - Jacob

LonelySoul69 - Mike

**Here goes nothing!**

**LonelySoul69 has signed on**

**TripsOnAir has signed on**

LonelySoul69: YOOOOO, BELLAAAA!

TripsOnAir: hi, mike.

LonelySoul69: sup?

TripsOnAir: oh. nothing.

**YouSmellGood01 has signed on**

LonelySoul69: uh. g2g

**LonelySoul69 has signed off**

YouSmellGood01: Well that was. Interesting.

TripsOnAir: nope. that was just. well. mike.

YouSmellGood01: -growls-

TripsOnAir: i love it when you do that. (:

YouSmellGood01: I love it when you love what I do.

**PimptasticBeast has signed on**

PimptasticBeast: WASSUPPPPP?!

YouSmellGood01: Here we go.

TripsOnAir: JAKE!

PimptasticBeast: hi bells! hi leech!

YouSmellGood01: ...Dog.

TripsOnAir: how's life, bud?!

PimptasticBeast: awesome!

TripsOnAir: sweeet!

YouSmellGood01: Bella. I think that Alice is calling us.

TripsOnAir: ): Okay, bye Jake!

PimptasticBeast: ok, bye

**YouSmellGood01 has signed off**

**TripsOnAir has signed off**

**PimptasticBeast has signed off**

**YouGotPwned has signed on**

**PerfectxBlonde has signed on**

**BipolarMuch43 has signed on**

**PsychicPixiex3 has signed on**

PsychicPixiex3: seriously, rose! i'm telling you. emmett was watching wizards of waverly place!

YouGotPwned: i wuz watchin that 1 movie. with the wizard kids. and the 1 has the glasses...

PsychicPixiex3: yeah, the episode where that one guy dresses up like him!

BipolarMuch43: I think they fight more than we do, Rose. And we bickered like five year olds for a decade!

PerfectxBlonde: Pretty much.

YouGotPwned: i wuz watchin. uh. iCarly?

PsychicPixiex3: THAT DOESN'T HELP.

BipolarMuch43: I LOVE THAT SHOW!

YouGotPwned: ...weellll.

PerfectxBlonde: What's with my husband's obsession with 15 year old girls?!

PsychicPixiex3: you need to do better in bed, rose.

PerfectxBlonde: ALICE!

YouGotPwned: believe me. i dont think she can

PerfectxBlonde: Awww, that's my teddy bear!

PsychicPixiex3: ROFL! HAHAHAHAH TEDDY BEAAARRR!

PerfectxBlonde: He has them on boxers.

YouGotPwned: ROSE. WHAT THE HEEEEEECK?!

BipolarMuch43: Uhm. Why?

YouGotPwned: yea, but rose rips them off with her teeth and growls

PsychicPixiex3: TOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH INFORMATIONN!

BipolarMuch43: Why don't you do that, Alice?

PerfectxBlonde: (:

PsychicPixiex3: ...i'm gonna go watch camp rock.

YouGotPwned: IM SO IN!

**PsychicPixiex3 has signed off**

**YouGotPwned has signed off**

PerfectxBlonde: -sighs- Another 15 year old girl my husband's obsessed with.

BipolarMuch43: Emmett's excited. Hahahah I think I'll make him mad...

**BipolarMuch43 has signed off**

PerfectxBlonde: And to think I chose this family...

**PerfectxBlonde has signed off**

**Okay, so there you have it. Uhm, I was listening to Miley when I was writing this. I don't know why. And I'm going to my cousin's house. So this was kinda short. But whatever. OMG CAMP ROCK CAME ON TV! Sorry. PEACE, HOMIE G. Love, Katie (:**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay. I've been gone all day at a softball tournament about an hour away. So I've been brainstorming... Anyways. Thank you guys for the reviews! This one's gonna be all Cullen. Sorry for not adding Jessica and Angela for those who requested it. Maybe next chapter. And lolalicecullenlmfao for the ideas here. (:**

TripsOnAir - Bella

YouSmellGood01 - Edward

DrMcSexy - Carlisle

IMarriedMcSexy -Esme

PsychicPixiex3 -Alice

BipolarMuch43 -Jasper

YouGotPwned -Emmett

PerfectxBlonde - Rosalie

Forks911 - Charlie

PimptasticBeast - Jacob

LonelySoul69 - Mike

**TripsOnAir has signed on**

**YouSmellGood01 has signed on**

**PsychicPixiex3 has signed on**

PsychicPixiex3: so you know what THE best movie EVER is?!

TripsOnAir: i dont know, alice. what?

PsychicPixiex3: harry potter. that stuff pwns.

YouSmellGood01: ...Well.

PsychicPixiex3: SIRIUSLY! They're all like NEEYOOOWWW with their wands and stuff.

TripsOnAir: YEAH! and i wanna turn into a dog whenever i want to!

YouSmellGood01: Just ask Jacob...

PsychicPixiex3: they just need some vampires and it would be all set!

YouSmellGood01: Alice.

PsychicPixiex3: WHAAAAAAAT?!

**BipolarMuch43 has signed on**

PsychicPixiex3: JAZZZZY! OMJ HIII! GET IT? OMJ, OH MY JASPER!

YouSmellGood01: Sometimes I wondered why you married this one.

BipolarMuch43: The other two were already taken.

PsychicPixiex3: ... jasper whitlock hale i have forever to hold back sex.

BipolarMuch43: Which was lucky for me! Because I love this one more!

TripsOnAir: nice save, jasper.

**PerfectxBlonde has signed on**

**YouGotPwned has signed on**

BipolarMuch43: Enjoy Camp Rock, Emmett?

YouGotPwned: yes i did. the blonde chick is HOT

PerfectxBlonde: -coughs-

YouGotPwned: and by the blonde chick i mean my beautiful wife

PerfectxBlonde: That's my Emmy.

YouGotPwned: alice, shut it.

PsychicPixiex3: Excuse moi!

PerfectxBlonde: On that note, I do love those Jonas boys. They're so cute!

YouGotPwned: I KNOW! the middle one = yummy!

YouSmellGood01: ...

BipolarMuch43: ...

TripsOnAir: I KNOW! everyone always says he's gay.

PsychicPixiex3: BUT HE'S NOT! he's probably more of a man than jasper!

TripsOnAir: and edward!

PerfectxBlonde: And Emmett!

PsychicPixiex3: COMBINED.

YouSmellGood01: ...I believe we were just immasculated.

YouGotPwned: ive always wanted to be their body guard. how amazing would that be?!

PsychicPixiex3: VERY!

YouGotPwned: YEAH!

BipolarMuch43: I joined this family... voluntarily?

YouGotPwned: im so jealous of big rob. no joke

PsychicPixiex3: wow, emmett. i think this is honestly a low for you.

YouGotPwned: NO! think about it. following three teenage hearthrobs around the world. YouGotPwned: and all of the screaming chicks, bro!

YouSmellGood01: ...

BipolarMuch43: ...

YouSmellGood01: He has a point.

BipolarMuch43: I believe he does.

TripsOnAir: ...wow.

YouGotPwned: =]

**DrMcSexy has signed on**

**MarriedMcSexy has signed on**

MarriedMcSexy: Emmett, did you find that Savannah Montana slipper you were looking for?

YouGotPwned: esme...

PsychicPixiex3: YOU HAVE SLIPPERS?!

YouGotPwned: ...they dont fit.

PerfectxBlone: Em. How many times have I told you. You need to get over this phase. Now. Come upstairs...

YouGotPwned: y?

PerfectxBlonde: You know.

**YouGotPwned has signed off**

PerfectxBlonde: (:

**PerfectxBlonde has signed off**

BipolarMuch43: Oh my.

PsychicPixiex3: I think I'm gonna go find those slippers. They might fit me!

PsychicPixiex3: Jazzy, care to join me? ;]

BipolarMuch43: Coming.

**BipolarMuch43 has signed off**

**PsychicPixiex3 has signed off**

MarriedMcSexy: Carlisle, dear, it's time for your shift at the hospital.

MarriedMcSexy: Do you want me to uh, drive you?

DrMcSexy: Why of course. :)

**MarriedMcSexy has signed off**

**DrMcSexy has signed off**

YouSmellGood01: I think there's something in the water.

TripsOnAir: i wouldn't be surprised.

YouSmellGood01: Now. Sleep time for the human.

TripsOnAir: kjaflskjdfs. =[

**YouSmellGood01 has signed off**

**TripsOnAir has signed off**

**A/N: OMJ. (get it? Oh My Jasper! ;]) It's taken me so long. And I'm not gonna be all 'I was busy' and blah-dee-blah. But that's true, and I kinda like. Forgot. Anyways. Thanks for all of the reviews and such! Anyone else see Twilight?! Gah, Kellan was delicious!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Two chapters in a day. ****Man I'm on a roll! Anyways. So as you can tell, Emmett's my favorite character in general. So I'm probably just going to stick with the Cullens + Bella. Maybe throw in some Jacob, but I really don't find him fun to write from. Not now, anyway, while he still adores Bella.**

TripsOnAir - Bella

YouSmellGood01 - Edward

DrMcSexy - Carlisle

IMarriedMcSexy - Esme

PsychicPixiex3 -Alice

BipolarMuch43 -Jasper

YouGotPwned -Emmett

PerfectxBlonde - Rosalie

Forks911 - Charlie

PimptasticBeast - Jacob

LonelySoul69 - Mike

**PsychicPixiex3 has signed on**

**PerfectxBlonde has signed on**

PsychicPixiex3: i think we should prank the boys.

PerfectxBlonde: sounds exciting! (: but how?

PsychicPixiex3: uh, not sure yet.

**BipolarMuch43 has signed on**

PsychicPixiex3: and that's where human babies come from.

**BipolarMuch43 has signed off**

PerfectxBlonde: HAHAHAH!

PsychicPixiex3: Or I could've brought up coloring pages and playgrounds. He hates those too.

PerfectxBlonde: ...?

PsychicPixiex3: I wouldn't even ask.

PerfectxBlonde: Okay then.

PsychicPixiex3: I say we. What does Emmett love the most?

PerfectxBlonde: Me.

PsychicPixiex3: ...Rose.

PerfectxBlonde: What? Okay, his... dignity?

PsychicPixiex3: I just saw what we're going to do. And it's amazing.

PerfectxBlonde: Gotta keep the non-future-seers in the know, Alice.

PsychicPixiex3: You know those pictures of Emmett we snapped next to his cardboard Hannah Montana cutout? And those pictures we got of Jasper crying watching the Young & the Restless? And the pictures of Edward falling down the stairs?

PerfectxBlonde: Yeah, so?

PsychicPixiex3: We're gonna get those ordered in so many copies and sizes. And hang them EVERYWHERE.

PerfectxBlonde: I LIKE IT.

PsychicPixiex3: Now, to buy the pictures! And I'm brining Bella.

PerfectxBlonde: hmph.

**PsychicPixiex3 has signed off**

**PerfectxBlonde has signed off**

**YouSmellGood01 has signed on**

**BipolarMuch43 has signed on**

**YouGotPwned has signed on**

YouGotPwned: So I was thinking.

BipolarMuch43: You can do that?

YouSmellGood01: Never woulda thunk it.

YouGotPwned: Funny. So I think we should prank the girls.

BipolarMuch43: In case you're forgetting, my wife can. Oh, I don't know... See the future?!

YouSmellGood01: The future always changes, my friend.

YouGotPwned: Right. So I think we should say that Edward ran off to the Volturi.

BipolarMuch43: ...Again.

YouGotPwned: And Jasper. You're going to mess with all of Alice's clothes. But keep changing you're mind on what you're going to do. But make sure it's bad and she freaks. Every time.

YouSmellGood01: And Rosalie...?

YouGotPwned: Don't worry. I'll take care of Rosie.

BipolarMuch43: Whatever you say...

YouGotPwned: Ready?! GO!!

**YouGotPwned has signed off.**

YouSmellGood01: Going, going...

BipolarMuch43: Gone.

**YouSmellGood01 has signed off**

**BipolarMuch43 has signed off**

**PerfectxBlonde has signed on**

**TripsOnAir has signed on**

PerfectxBlonde: You did hang them ALL over the house, right Alice?

PsychicPixiex3: And their cars. And Carlisle's car. And every picture frame in the house. Right, Bella?

TripsOnAir: Of course! (:

PerfectxBlonde: Hm.

PsychicPixiex3: OH NO. JAZZ NO.

**PsychicPixiex3 has signed off**

**YouGotPwned has signed on**

YouGotPwned: Bella. I have bad news. Edward. Well. He's gone to the Volturi again.

**TripsOnAir has signed off**

PerfectxBlonde: ...?

YouGotPwned: Rosalie. I've made a decision. And you can't stop me.

PerfectxBlonde: ...Emmy. What are you going to do?

YouGotPwned: Jasper's helping me. But I think I'm going to shave my head.

PerfectxBlonde: o.o I'm coming to your room. Now.

YouGotPwned: Just the way I like it... But he's already up here with the shaver.

**PerfectxBlonde has signed off**

**BipolarMuch43 has signed on**

**YouSmellGood01 has signed on**

YouGotPwned: Status report?

YouSmellGood01: Bella's running to Carlisle now. And her truck's freaking out. I hate that garbage...

BipolarMuch43: Alice is standing guard in front of her closet.

YouGotPwned: And Rosalie is running around the house/yard/garage trying to find us.

BipolarMuch43: Be right back, I have to ask Esme a question.

YouSmellGood01: Okay.

YouGotPwned: Kays.

YouSmellGood01: I feel bad though...

YouGotPwned: Don't.

BipolarMuch43: Guys. Walk into the living room. Now.

YouSmellGood01: ...Okay.

BipolarMuch43: SEE WHAT THEY DID?!

YouGotPwned: I THOUGHT NO ONE COULD SEE THAT?!

YouSmellGood01: THAT WAS ONE TIME. ONE. TIME. AND MY HEAD WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE.

YouGotPwned: Picturing Bella naked?

BipolarMuch43: That was a good one, Emmett!

YouSmellGood01: -Growls-

YouGotPwned: I know, it's what I do.

YouGotPwned: Now, I gotta find Rosalie and uh. Teach her a lesson.

**YouGotPwned has signed off**

YouSmellGood01: So that's what they call it...

BipolarMuch43: Alice is in my room... So, same? Bye.

**BipolarMuch43 has signed off**

YouSmellGood01: I really think the animals are drinking something they shouldn't...

YouSmellGood01: BELLA I'M COMING!

**YouSmellGood01 has signed off**

**A/N: I told you I didn't forget about you guys! Two chapters in a night, I believe that's a record for me! So have a wonderful Thanksgiving, seeing as I probably won't update until Friday. So eat lots of turkey and mashed potatoes for me! xoxo, Katie.  
**


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